How to Nurture New Beliefs

From planting a seed, to watching it grow into a young tree. How to nurture new beliefs that serve us well.

No, we don’t do this anymore, I gently said to a part of me that started to question my creative ideas, that felt like the project was getting too big. “You won’t be able to put all of this in place anyway, stop adding on to it” this part had said to me.

I noticed its attempt to limit my ideas as the voice in my head gently but firmly said: ‘no, remember? We don’t do this anymore.’

Wait, what do we not do anymore and who is we?

Let’s start with ‘who is we?’ We is… me and all of my parts. It refers to the Internal Family Systems model that we are all made up of multiples, of parts, and that we have no bad parts.

What we don’t do anymore is keep our thoughts small for fear of not turning them into action.

What we don’t do anymore is limit our creative ideas before they’ve even had a chance to blossom.

What we don’t do anymore is stopping our creative flow because a part of me is worried that it will get too large, unmanageable, out of control.

For 30 or so years, I believed I wasn’t creative.

And it's not just creativity in the sense that I can create aesthetically pleasing pieces of art. I didn't give myself permission to let my creative thoughts be free. I think they scared me sometimes. They felt all over the place and not able to be contained and like I couldn't hold on to them.

Two years ago I set out to change that limiting belief that I am not creative. How? By proving myself wrong: painting, drawing, doodling.

I reminded myself that the most important part was whether I had enjoyed the process of creation.

And now?
I enjoy the art that I create.
I enjoy the process of creating.
It's become part of my self care menu.

And bigger picture, beyond art - I feel a sense of expansion since I started to embrace my creative side, letting my thoughts flow, allowing them to be, trusting the process of creating something even when the outcome isn't quite tangible or pretty yet.

And the moment in the shower this morning was a sign that I had made it to the other side. My response to my impulse to cut off the thought wasn’t harsh, it wasn’t firm; it was kind and gentle and soft.

In that gentleness I realized that I am no longer in the phase where I am actively building this new ‘muscle’, training this new belief that it is safe, even fun for me to let creative ideas flow freely. It’s no longer a small delicate plant that needs protection and care and nurturing. The belief that it is fun to let my creative thoughts run wild has grown into a young tree; there is still room for growth; its roots will take stronger hold; its branches will continue to reach toward the sunlight, continue to stretch.

And the old belief, the one that says I’m not creative? It was old, it had its time, it protected me and kept me safe, and then it was time for new growth in my forest. And so one day, it was overgrown, outgrown, and while it’s still there, lying on the warm, soft, damp forest floor, it is slowly decomposing, its nutrients being released into the soil, nourishing my younger, still growing plants.

There is no magical wand to let go of beliefs about yourself that don’t serve you anymore. It requires intentionality, practice, openness, reflection, and determination. It also requires time and patience.

You start by planting a new seed, deciding that this belief is no longer for you, while the old tree is still standing strong and its roots run deep. And then you wait; you water it, enough, not too much; you make sure it gets sunlight; and you nurture it, and take care of it, and are gentle with it, and you watch it grow, day by day by day.

And before you know it, it’s strong enough to stand tall and strong, and it can withstand a bit of rain and wind; and on a sunny day, you sit in its shadow, letting your mind wander, allowing your creative ideas to flow, your thoughts to run wild.