What even is an ADHD coach?
My philosophy - Q&A style
Hello dear reader,
Today, I want to share a bit more about my approach to ADHD coaching and what it means to me. The questions aren’t mine; the answers are. Enjoy!
1. Can you explain your role as an ADHD coach and how you support individuals with ADHD in their daily lives?
My role as an ADHD coach is to meet the person where they are today; to partner with them to determine where they want to be; and then - as a team - identify strategies for how to get there. On a foundational level, this includes listening, making space for emotions, and using coaching frameworks to help the person make progress towards their goals. My approach is rooted in compassion. As ADHDers, we are often already so hard on ourselves and I bring fun and kindness into the conversation instead of leaning on “tips and tricks” to “hack” our brains.
2. What are the key differences between ADHD coaching and therapy? How do the two complement each other?
In simple terms, therapy is looking at the past and healing trauma to impact the present (and future), while coaching is future oriented; the starting point is the present. I think there is often room for both. ADHD coaching doesn’t necessarily address wounds from living as a neurodivergent human in a neurotypical world, but by trying new ways to manage our daily lives, we can build self-compassion and confidence.
3. How do you tailor your coaching strategies to meet the unique needs of each client, given the diversity within the ADHD spectrum?
I start from the understanding that my clients are resourceful and whole. They know what they need and what works for them (or at least we can figure it out together by trying different things). At the beginning of each coaching relationship and at the beginning of each session, we check in: what does support look like today? Some people need space to think and experience someone to listen to their thoughts without judgment; others need to be challenged. On some days, the best course of action is not to talk about what’s in the way of doing the thing, but to simply do the thing together. Open conversations and frequent check ins about what is and isn’t working is the key - it’s what makes this a partnership.
4. What is the most common challenge your clients with ADHD face, and how do you help them overcome it?
It breaks my heart a little to answer in this way, but I think the most common challenge we keep coming back to is this: ADHDers are often so very hard on themselves (myself included!). We sometimes feel like we are on top of the world and can do anything, and on other days, everything feels so very hard. It can be a confusing and frustrating experience. Instead of pushing through, my approach is to hold space for those complexities and contradictions, because it’s all part of the ADHD experience. Without letting them off the hook on meeting their goals (if that’s what we have agreed on) and with permission, I gently challenge deep rooted ideas about how things “should” be done and we experiment with strategies based in compassion.
5. Some critics argue that ADHD coaching lacks scientific backing compared to traditional therapies. How would you respond to this, and what evidence supports your methods?
This is a tricky topic with lots of nuance! Here are some of my thoughts: I’m a big fan of therapy and I also know that a lot of traditional therapeutic models don’t work for neurodivergent folks. The right therapist can be an amazing fit, but not every therapist is trained in supporting ADHD and other neurodivergent people. The same is true for coaches - not every coach has the same level of training, experience, or knowledge.
In the big picture, studies have shown positive impact of coaching and I know from personal experience (as a coach and as a coachee) how helpful it can be.
For the individual, I think this is why it’s crucial to “interview” different therapists and coaches (if that’s an option; not everyone has that privilege) to see if there’s a good fit.
6. With the increasing prevalence of ADHD diagnoses, do you think there’s a risk of overdiagnosis? How does this affect your work and the people you coach?
I am not concerned with the increase in ADHD diagnoses (or self realization for that matter). I realized I was ADHD in my late 30s and it has given me a new lens through which I see myself, my choices, my life, my relationships. It finally allowed me to truly support myself in ways that work for me. I feel so much more connected to myself and to who I really am now that I have a concept for my experience. So many people (especially women, non-binary folk, BIPOC, and people of other marginalized communities) have been missed - it’s time we all get the support we deserve.
How does this affect my work as a coach? The diagnosis itself is just one aspect of the journey. In fact, the way I approach my diagnosed ADHD clients isn’t much different from how I approach those who are neurotypical or questioning their neurodivergent identity. What matters to me is that the individuals I work with feel seen, understood, and valued.
7. What do you believe is the biggest misconception about ADHD that you aim to correct through your coaching?
I think a big misconception is that we just need to find the right “tips and tricks” to “hack our brains” so we can live a successful life. While there is absolutely room for strategies, I am weary of a forceful approach that requires us to trick our brain. It’s just not a very self-compassionate approach. I try to find both/and strategies where we identify helpful tools while also working with our strengths and letting go of ideas around neuronormative standards of productivity (which aren’t good for any of us, by the way).
8. Can you share a success story where your coaching made a significant impact on someone’s life? What was the key turning point in their journey?
It’s hard to find one big moment - which makes sense, too: it’s all a gradual process and years later I still work on my own stuff, too. Here is a one memorable and meaningful moment: One client used the word “lazy” so much to describe herself for a long time. She had internalized that label. One day, I noticed she corrected herself and replaced it with something else. That was amazing - it was such a clear sign that things were shifting internally.
9. In your experience, how well do schools and workplaces accommodate individuals with ADHD? What changes would you like to see in these environments?
This is such a big question! My short answer is: I appreciate that we’re beginning to have more of an open conversation about it, but we still have a long way to go!
I think the real change that is required here is around creating deep understanding what ADHD is, how it can show up for the individual, and what support actually looks like. Honestly, I am a bit frustrated with blanket support like “everyone gets a wiggle chair!” as if that solves every ADHDer’s problem.
10. ADHD is often portrayed as a condition that primarily affects children. What challenges do adults with ADHD face, and how does your approach differ when working with adults?
It’s such an interesting question. I only work with adults as a coach, but I’d say the biggest challenge that comes with ADHD in adulthood is undoing years and years of negative self talk. Coaching goes beyond finding ways to complete tasks, get assignments done, and managing time. Those are the things clients want help with, but in my experience what they often need is to extend a bit more grace and compassion towards themselves.
Find the Right Coach for You
Join me for a workshop on January 7th, 2025 :
Understand what you kind of support you need / want
Learn where you could start looking for a coach
Identify "interview" questions to ask a potential coach
What is a "discovery call"?
Q&A
Curious about working with me?
This is what’s included in my ADHD Coaching Package:
10x45 minute weekly sessions
2x75 minute sessions - one in the beginning and one mid-point session for deeper reflection
Text / WhatsApp support between sessions
Investment: $900 (payable in full or in 3x$300)
(Not exactly what you’re looking for? Let’s chat!)