22 "Quirks"

A selection of "quirks" (a peculiar aspect of a person's character or behavior) that aren't in fact just quirks.

Are you ready for something a little bit different today, dear reader? For some of you, these might sound familiar and make complete sense, and some of you might leave this feeling confused. That’s okay. My intention is connection. I invite you to be curious and have an open mind. And if you know exactly what I’m talking about and this all sounds familiar, I’d love to hear from you.

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With my dog Kylo at Larrabee State Park

1. 64, 68, 72. I’m okay with 70 in a pinch but I don’t love it. I’m referring to the temperature in my car. It’s not impossible to have it set to something else (I’ve tried); but these are the only ones I keep defaulting to. It just feels right. And no, this is not based on my ideal temperature for my body.

2. Why is a fucking sparrow in your hand better than a pigeon on the roof? And no, “today is trash day” is not the same as “can you please take the trash out?”

3. Fingernails. I wish I could explain more but the thought alone gives me goosebumps and tightens up each muscle in my body. No thanks. Similar: Knife vs plate. Does anyone else “close” their ears when they hear a sound like this one? I’m doing it right now; can’t help it.
   

4. The joy of arriving exactly on time. I don’t mean early; I mean exactly on time.

5. We had one conversation; it went deep; we clicked. I consider you my friend now. Is that not how it works?

6. I am on the last 40 or so pages of my journal and I am already having all sorts of feelings about the transition. I was also already so sad about my Freddie Mercury phase coming to an end before it was over (“Love me like there’s no tomorrow….”). Transitions are hard, the big ones and the little ones.

7. I don’t answer the phone. I hate making phone calls when I don’t know what to expect (appointments, scheduling, etc.) so I avoid them at all cost. Incoming call? Straight to voicemail, every time (unless you are one of very few select people; I even let friends go to voicemail. Send me a text instead.)

8. Also, deep conversations are best to be had on the phone. I can focus on the other person’s words and tone of voice, and not be distracted and confused by body language and facial expression. Walking conversations are second best - no eye contact required.

9. Trying new foods is fun but only if I’ve had a chance to look through the menu ahead of time. Please don’t give me choices for my sides unless they are specifically written down. Subway? Absolutely not (unless you order it for me).

10. The sadness when I think the other person is super interested in my topic, too, but it turns out they’re not willing to go there.

11. Meeting norms are awesome; even when they explicitly ask you to sit with the discomfort of non-closure. I can work with that. Group project like a podcast at work? Let’s agree on tenets first so the rules are clear. Guess what’s on the first page of my first journal? Yep, rules.

12. Remember to switch your leg to the other side! It could be interpreted as rejecting body language. And uncross your arms! I say to myself (but now what do I do with them?)

13. I am so very thankful I don’t pick my skin around my nails anymore.

14. Googling signs of depression since the invention of I’ve had access to the internet (yes, accuracy matters). Never meeting the criteria around sadness; always confused why it didn’t fit. What else could it possibly be?

15. I hide behind others sometimes. Is it weird when you’re almost 40 years old, you’ve done the research about the car you want to potentially buy and feel confident about what you need, but you tell your husband to please do all of the talking at the dealership? (and no, it’s not social anxiety)

16. Mixing of social groups is the weirdest thing. How am I supposed to know how to talk / dress / be now?

17. Me at the end of summer break before school starts: spends hours creating daily family routines, morning and evening routines for each child, laminates them, creates a perfectly thought through pom pom system for rewards, and sets up a new station including timers and checklists. Then has meltdowns when nobody is following them to the extent that I would like (i.e. 100%), including myself. Two weeks later: wait, didn’t I make those daily routine charts? They could use an update.

18. I have read: Autism in Heels, Unmasking Autism, Is this Autism?, Divergent Mind, the Electricity of Every Living Thing, Late Bloomer, Strong Female Character, and more. This doesn’t feel like enough to count as a special interest. I wish I could add up the hours of podcasts I’ve listened to on the topic and the hours I have spent on Reddit and other places reading. Maybe then I would allow it to count? I wish there was a guideline for what intense or atypical means exactly.

19. Look me in the eye, baby. No, please don’t. I remember exactly where I was when, as a teenager, I found out that you don’t have to look people directly in the eye. When you look between their eyes, they can’t tell the difference, and if you look at their mouths, they feel like you are really listening to them. Genius!

20. I never know what the right answer to “how are you?” is. “I’m well, and you?” or “I’m okay.” or “this is not my favorite place to be (at the dentist), [insert smile], but pretty good.” or “a bit tired, it was hard to get my kids to school on time today, but okay now”? Who else thinks through the response options while waiting for the dental hygienist?

21. Black for notes, pink for important callouts, blue for reflections. Makes sense. But imagine the unease when one of those pens just cannot be found minutes before the meeting. There may have been tears involved.

22. Yakisoba Noodles from Costco. For lunch. Every weekday. Perfect.

No questions or are too strange or weird for this one, I promise; just send me a message or leave a comment. If you relate to any of these or have your own “quirks” to share, I would love love love to hear from you.