16 Comments
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Gail Doggett's avatar

The transitions, the touched-out feeling: so very familiar.

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

I both hate and love that this is so very familiar. I wish it wasn't like this and also it's always so comforting to know that we're not alone. Thank you, Gail, for reading and commenting!

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Barbara Graver's avatar

I raised 3 kids as a single, undiagnosed autistic mom. Sometimes I say I'd like to go back and do things over, but I'm not sure that's true. I used to look at all the other mothers and feel absolutely awful. Since my diagnosis I've come to see that it is not, and never was, a level field. I thought this was a great post <3

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you for this encouraging comment 🧡 every time I read a comment like yours I’m reminded how important self awareness (including understanding our nervous systems and neurotype) is so that we can treat ourselves with more kindness. I’m glad you can look back at it now with a new lens and understanding!

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Tara Harnwell Jones's avatar

I really relate to what you have written. Your experiences of being overwhelmed and overstimulated as a family is so us! Being able to advocate for yourself and show your kids that is ok to have the feelings, dealing with them in a healthy way is the gold part is fabulous. Still something we are learning to do here, but the more you do it the easier it gets eh

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

We are most definitely still learning over here too! 🧡

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Lexi Merritt's avatar

Oh thank you so much for sharing this. When I read that note and your caption, all I could think was "Actually this sounds VERY loving." It reads like a note from someone who loves themselves enough to advocate for their needs and loves their people enough to communicate those needs clearly. What a beautiful example to offer your little ones.

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

Oh Lexi thank you so much for saying this! This is so true and something I’ve worked hard on - to accept this part of me and to allow it to happen and to allow my children to see it and teach them not to be afraid of it. I love that this was your takeaway. As hard as it is in the moment, you’re right, I was taking care of myself and advocating for myself. Thank you for seeing this and reflecting it back to me!! ♥️

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Sarah Teresa Cook's avatar

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this!

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

and thank you for reading it! It sounds like such a boring response, but I mean it!

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Hanna, please pursue formal diagnosis, if you're not already 🙏 I genuinely thought it wouldn't make a difference but it made ALL the difference. No more second-guessing, no more doubts, no more 'what-ifs...', just more self-understanding, self-awareness and self-compassion ❤️ I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now.

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

Hi Jessica. They’re not always this hard. This is one part and it’s real, but it’s not my every day. A formal evaluation is not the right thing for me at this moment for a few reasons, but that might change in the future.

Thank you for this. I’m glad it had such a positive impact on you!

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Hoping you have an easy & pleasant experience with it when the time is right 💛

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Holly's avatar

Thank you for sharing these vulnerable moments. I love the way you tell a story.

I don’t know a ton about autism but do you know much about the polyvagal response? Flight flight freeze fawn.

I often get overstimulated too. Consider myself a highly sensitive person to stimuli and the flight response often comes out if I’m stressed.

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Hanna Keiner (she/her)'s avatar

thank you for reading and your kind words :) I am familiar with it, yes, but don't know much detail. How do you take care of yourself when you get overstimulated and stressed?

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Holly's avatar

It's hard but breathing is the first step. And then remove the harmful stimuli if you can. Sometimes just stepping away for 5 minutes is enough. I tend to lean on guided anxiety or calm meditations to help. Or a gratitude one to reset my brain.

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