Where is everyone?
Reflections on community online, writing in different places, and questions for what's next.
What makes you feel connected online?
Are you craving connection?
Where are you looking for connection?
Where are you finding it?
Where is everyone?
IRL I attended our town’s Pride Parade 🏳️🌈 last Saturday, with glitter rainbows and all.
Online, in November of last year, about 7 months ago, I started posting about twice a week, often more on LinkedIn. Then in March of this year, I added this Substack; and about a months ago, I created a new Instagram account to experiment with posting 100 pieces of content in 30 days.
It’s time for some reflection…
But first, let’s back up for some context.
Over the last 15 years or so, I have used writing to connect to people. When I first moved to the US from Germany, I wrote a regular “newsletter” home to my family and friends; When I became a parent, I wrote, you guessed it, a parenting blog (cringe!); When we added our dog Kylo to the family in 2020, I created an Instagram account for dog content; When I felt like parents at Amazon didn’t have enough of a voice, I created and co-hosted a podcast with two fellow Amazonian parents in an effort to create community.
Let’s be real, this time around, my writing has a new component: I am creating a new coaching business from scratch and yes, I want to get the word out so that I can do what I love — support people and also so I can make an income.
Yes, I have been learning and thinking about marketing lately.
Interestingly though, my main takeaway is that what really matters (to me) is the connection to people. And I keep coming back to the question: if Instagram is dead (except for doom scrolling) and LinkedIn feels fake and just invites our imposter in, then… where is everyone?
My strategy or plan going forward is still up in the air (I will keep writing here!), but wanted to take a moment to reflect on what it’s been like for me so far and get your input as well - where are the online communities you spend your time in?
LinkedIn
On LinkedIn, I try to be authentic, first and foremost, but I have the algorithm in mind as I am posting. I am intentionally sharing in a way that comes to mind, not always so polished, not consistently or at regular intervals. I feel… okay here.
When I am scrolling, I see a lot of the same; sometimes I am inspired but more often than not, I feel inadequate.
I do like that the few times I’ve connected with a person (whether we already knew each other or not) via messages I felt, yes, connected. We didn’t have big meaningful discussions, but I felt connected to a real person, not just the algorithm. And as much as I appreciate a comment (also because, yes, it creates more visibility), it feels different, better, more connected, and more real in the DMs.
And also… I am starting to feel like I am just adding stuff to the noise. Going forward… less is more?
Instagram
On Instagram, it started out playful - I did a “garbage challenge” of posting 100 pieces of content in 30 days. This challenge helped me get over the idea of posting “perfect” content or figuring out my aesthetic before sharing my first post. I just went for it.
I have to say I enjoy the mix it created. It looks and feels like me; experimenting, a bit all over the place, thoughtful sometimes, and random at others. It’s not one specific thing, it isn’t “pretty”.
I feel myself wanting to put up a wall.
However, I also quickly realized that it is sucking me in. I am spending a lot of time thinking about what to post; writing down notes; taking pictures and videos that I could turn into some inspirational post.
It doesn’t help that the algorithm is flooding my feed with people selling me their marketing strategies.
I feel myself wanting to put up a wall; I have to fight not get sucked into all of the messages that are telling me I am doing it wrong. It’s not healthy.
As I am coming towards the end of the challenge, I am thinking about how I want to take it forward. I am not ready to say goodbye to it completely. Maybe I’ll treat it as my playground. We will see.
Slack
I am also active in a Slack community for ADHDers and have been really enjoying the small space conversations there.
Substack
Here on Substack, I write to write. There is no algorithm (yet) - you can curate your own feed or get content in your email inbox. I am enjoying this; I get feedback that the content resonates and I wonder if that’s because I feel most… free and unattached when I write. I am treating this as a blog; I wanted to create a place where people who come into my universe can get to know me; the way I think and am before reaching out to me. It has turned into a place where I can creatively let loose and play and be inspired; I am enjoying this. I like taking the time to think and write. It feels supportive here, like a community, and I love getting individual messages from people who share with me what resonated or what it got them to think about. I love that through the process of writing and reading, I can create a connection with one person even if just for one moment.
Having said this, while it’s for now a curated feed where you see only minimal recommended content, Substack is rolling out features (like notes) that make it feel more like social media. A lot of us ended up here because we were trying to get away from Instagram and the likes, but are already weary that this isn’t quite ‘it’, either.
So, what is ‘it’? What’s next?
I’m not sure.
For me, it’s smaller. Like participating in a community on Slack; or showing up to a Zoom call where people share their experiences; or maybe a chat on Signal. I’ve seen people who already have a larger following create some of those spaces - paid subscriber only chats on Substack, on Patreon, or their own platform.
For now, I am participating in some of those select communities to see what it’s like. In the future, I would love to create some of those spaces myself.
Until then - I would love to hear your reflections and ideas - as comments, as DMs, etc.
Here are some reflection questions. I’d love for you to share your answers. I’ll go first - in the comments.
What are the spaces you spend time in online? How do you participate there and how do you feel in those spaces?
What makes you feel connected online?
How do you want to feel in a community online?
If you are looking for a space what do you want to gain from a community online?
How would you want to participate?
What would make it easy to show up and participate?
I wrote this in a note but will expand here: I sometimes wonder why I am here. I have no agenda besides to get my feelings out. I hope to appeal to a broader community only because in my large group of friends it doesn’t seem there are many people who are exactly relating to what I’m going through / have to say. It’s that magic when you find your “home”. That’s what I hope to find and where I am.
So I’m on Instagram: @thruthe.looking.glass and my personal account: @hollogramm
I have also found a home in some *gasp* Facebook groups.
Hi Hanna, your instagram feed looks great - and is a good segue into where I spend time online: on instagram and LinkedIn. On LinkedIn I'm looking for interesting work-things mostly, and also intrested to see things of wider life relevance. I enjoy 'liking' what I like and find it easy to ignore the rest. On IG I love the visual inspiration, and cool ideas. I'm there more for my passions, which overlap some with work (the coaching and leadership side) but the bigger part of the circle is 'life'.
I only come to Substack to comment....I prefer reading in my email.
I think what makes me feel connected is finding content that resonates....and I do enjoy getting into conversations too,
How do I want to feel online? Inspired & connected are the two words that resonate most.
I'd love to be part of more groups, and also to host.....one day.......
Thanks for getting me thinking! And I'm off to find your IG account :-)