A couple of announcements before we jump in:
Next week is Wicked Wednesday. Get support to work on a hard thing. It is tax season, just saying. You can join me in the subscriber chat or sign up to a Zoom meeting—find all details in the Wicked Wednesday post.
- and I will be going live together on Substack on Monday, March 31 at noon Pacific time / 8pm UK time to continue the conversation about ADHD & autistic parts. Join us if you can!
“Let’s be scared together”, we agreed. A roughly outlined framework, a bit of courage, and trust that we could let the conversation unfold resulted in a spontaneous conversation about a big topic: How come we feel so differently towards our ADHD parts compared to our autistic parts?
Thank you to those of you who tuned into my live video with
yesterday. I’m including the full clip in today’s email—unedited and raw. As intimidating it is, I want to lean into the vulnerability. I believe it’s these kinds of raw, real, and sometimes awkward (watch to the end!) conversations that drive meaningful connection—and I want that for all of us.Let’s explore and untangle this topic together. I realize I haven’t given a nice “primer” to lay the foundation, but let’s see what thoughts this conversation sparks.
Below, you’ll find some conversation starters and questions for your own reflection.
I’ll see you in the comments!
A Safe Container for Play (Ritual and Spontaneity)
Where in your life have you created containers that provide a sense of safety in which you can play?
AuDHDers, where do you experience your autistic parts creating the structure and your AUDHD parts providing the creativity and spontaneity within that? If this resonates, how can you lean into that interplay?
Shame / Compassion towards our Unmasked Parts
Do you find it more difficult to show compassion to your ADHD parts? What do you think that’s about, for you?
Do you agree with this statement? Unmasked autistic parts evoke empathy from others while unmasked ADHD parts are seen as annoying, rude, and unreliable. What impact does that have on your unmasking?
Self Trust
In the context of “we all contain multitudes”, what does self trust mean? Who needs to trust whom? If you want to be able to trust your ADHD parts, don’t your ADHD parts also need to be able to trust you?
Where can you extent some trust to your ADHD parts? How would you phrase it? I trust you to….
Do we underestimate where our ADHD parts lead us sometimes? What if we go from “I can’t trust myself to come back to this tomorrow” to “I can trust that there are parts that see and hold the bigger picture, even if I can’t fully see that yet”?
ADHD “management”
What role does ADHD management play in your life? How do you manage your ADHD? Where is it helpful and where is there more room to let go and have fun?
AuDHDers, in what ways do your ADHD parts balance out some of your autistic tendencies?
Your Autistic and ADHD Parts
What do you enjoy most about each of them?
What aspects do you find most challenging?
What do your autistic parts want you to know? What do your ADHD parts want you to know?
What do your ADHD parts need? What do your autistic parts need?
ADHD & Autism on Substack
For those of you who also write on Substack, what are ways that this environment on Substack supports your autistic and ADHD parts?
How is this different /same on other platforms?
Join the conversation and leave a comment:
I’ll be heading over to
’s Field Notes next, where curious and insightful conversations have been happening in the last few weeks.I hope you enjoyed this video today. If you did, please give it a like ♥️.
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